I could count on one hand the number of people I let hurt me. I mean really hurt me. I mean the kind where you really hate them and cry about it all weekend and think about cutting your ear off and mailing it to them. Like crying into your third beer of the night and acting drunker than you are just so you have an excuse to sob harder, even though the sympathy's not doing shit to fill that stupid gaping hole in your chest.

But I know- I have never, ever let anyone hurt me as badly as I let you.

I don't think he understands my side of things.

He thinks I'm just an ass.

Wonderful.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SCU1JYmGxcA

Ludo;; Love Me Dead

yes I've been with darrencordeux for two years.

yes that's a long time

yes, that makes our anniversary 6/6/6

yes we're awesome

no, I'm not that girly

no, I don't think you attacking me like that was very cute or funny

yes, you're an asshole

no, you're not worth my time

no, I don't have to add you if I don't want

i haven't been this tired or exhausted or miserable in a long fucking time, i'll tell you that.

i'm so tired right now it physically hurts.

it's already past midnight and i have to get up at six am.

i promised i'd wait up for daz though and i am.

i don't know what i'm doing anymore.

dear x,

i missed you last night for the first time in weeks and kicked myself in the ass for taking you for granted and not spending time with you when i could. i'm sorry. truly. you won't see this, but i am sorry.